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When one door closes...

...another door opens. But did you ever notice how "they" never said when that other door is supposed to open? *sigh*

I am trying to stay positive and trust that He has something better planned for us but when you're literally stretching every single resources just to make ends meet, it is starting to become very difficult. Yes, I realize that we are still lucky compare to most in the sense that because of my husband's job, we never have to worry about loosing our home, living without water or electricity, and God forbid we get sick or get in an accident, we at least have good health insurance to keep us from owing tons of money from hospital bills. But regardless of all those great blessings, this little heart of mine is starting to fill up with anger...

The per diem RN job that I mentioned last January fell through last month. I never even got to start the job. The paperwork process took long, they apparently didn't hear me say my ACLS certification has expired during the interview, and after we had paid $350 out-of-pocket for me to recertify, drove 2+ hours each way to San Francisco for two days and countless of emails and phone calls from me to ask when I can finally start the hospital orientation---I finally got a hold of someone only to be told that they thought someone had already informed me that they will no longer be pursuing my employment because the hospital is now on a hiring freeze.

There have been good job prospects but they are 1 1/2 to 2 hours away. My husband feels that I should never be more than 30 minutes to an hour away from our son just in case something happens. So for now, we are holding off on those jobs and we are hoping to find something a little bit closer to home.

Maybe we counted our chickens too early before they even hatched. With the added income, we toyed with the idea of vacationing in Indiana during the summer and Christmas, trying a few restaurants here at our new home, upgrading a few things around the house, etc. Maybe it's God's way of telling us I need to stay a little bit longer at home with our son---and I truly believed that. Now if only I would just stop questioning Him and just fully surrender in His hands... And that my friends, might just be the real lesson He's teaching me after all.